Tuesday, July 19, 2005

As I lay in bed counting race mile markers...

I didn’t sleep well last night, too much on my mind. Yep, I was laying in bed last night, counting race mile (KM) markers, trying to fall asleep and of course thinking about everything in the world. Here is a sampling:

1. Work - Around this time of year it starts getting really busy at work, the engineers clean off their desks getting ready for vacations, which normally means I am getting something to edit, proofread, or handle in some way, shape or form. This is my job, I’m not complaining about doing the work, I just wish they wouldn’t wait until the last minute and all feed me at once. I go through this every summer and again around Christmas, whine, whine and more whining.

2. Mom – For those new to my blog mom fell and broker her hip earlier this year and was laid up for awhile. She’s home now, getting around with help of a walker, and going to therapy twice a week to get the walking muscles back in shape. I worry about her a lot, at 77 she has had her share of problems.

3. Wifey – My wife is officially unemployed now. Although she has been promised a new position starting August 15th, she doesn’t have a contract yet. We are kind of nervous about this, the unemployment rate in Germany is going through the ceiling.

4. My Kids – Most of you probably don’t know that I am a father of 3 and grandfather of 2. My kids live in NY in the same region as their mother (my first wife) and they have their share of problems. I am terribly frustrated that I can’t do so much in the moment to help them.

5. Running – What? Running stressful? In a way yes, I feel like I am not doing enough of it (okay superman!). I think I’m doing pretty good with my running this year, breaking PR’s, putting in long mileage etc. But I am a bit paranoid about falling on my face again in September when I run my second marathon (M-II). During my first marathon I confirmed that I really am mere mortal and can have a bad race too! As a result I am trying to be more aggressive with my training so that M-II day will be less of a shock.

6. Woodworking - One of my other hobbies. I spent several hours building a router table yesterday - a design that should have taken several days. It ended up looking really lousy, even for this novice. I wish I had more time for this hobby (and patience).

7. Diet - After last weekend let's not talk about this:(

8. Time – I work too much, I train too much, I have too many hobbies. I need to spend more time with my wife, I need to run more, I need to sleep more, I need to catch up on a 101 other tasks. I vote for 36 hour days!

I’m not depressed or going nuts (yet), but I'm frustrated because I constantly have to juggle the schedule around to fit everything in. This past weekend was the first time in a long while where I just threw everything in the corner and didn’t worry about it for a few days. Most of the weekend was good quality time with my wife, totally necessary and desirable. But last night I lay in bed, feeling guilty about all the things in the corner...

Am I weird or do you go through phases like this too?

No you aren't weird - I once titled a post "my balls are falling". It was about how in the juggling act of life, I was having trouble keeping all the balls in the air. We all go through it. Sometimes it just bothers me more than others.

Hope all will be well with your family.
It sounds like you've got a lot going on. I am a nighttime worrier myself - it doesn't sound strange to me at all!
Good luck with everything.
That's the worst - lying awake in bed and having all the worries gang up on you. Hope you've slept better since.
Nope not weird....happens to me all the time. I am really bad for biting off more than I can chew. But I've learned to laugh it off and I get done what I get done.

I also learned to sacrifice quality on things that arent' important to allow for the more important things. For example, the dishes can wait if hubby has to go to bed early. So my house isn't always spotless but time with family is just more important to me.
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